Strength

Strength: the emotional or mental qualities necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult.

I've learned a lot these last few weeks about strength. No, I didn't enter a weight-lifting competition nor did I run a marathon. For those who do not know, I lost my dad this January. At the age of 92, he lived a good long life and had been waiting for, in his words, the Dear Lord to take him, for years. All of his working years were spent laying tile, on his hands and knees through achy joints. In his later years you could hear his knees creak, as they were his originals! He raised four daughters, all of whom played softball and he played catch with us in the backyard well into his forties. When he could no longer squat to catch our pitches, he would stand, but he still played, always there for us. He worked hard so that he could send all four of us to college, pay for our weddings and save for retirement. Although in his later years he needed help to stand, walk and care for himself physically, he persevered. When his mind forgot our names or what he had eaten for breakfast, his body fought on. He was a strong man. Yet, his strength is not what prompted me to write today.

I am writing about strength today because of my mother. Seeing her handle his death with strength made me realize that she too was a rock in our family. When my two older sisters were younger, in the 1950s, she stayed home and took care of the family. By the late 1960s-early 1970s, they had added two more girls to the family, so they did what they thought was best for us all, my mom went to work! My parents made it work this way-my dad worked days and my mom until late at night, so that we were never alone. Some of my fondest memories are my dad coaching our softball teams. He was there for almost every event that we had. I never thought too much about my mom having to work afternoons. I'm sure she must have hated missing our games and events, but I never remember her complaining. Just as she never complained in my dad's later years, when she was sole caregiver of her husband with physical ailments and dementia. She was strong. She did what she had to do. Again, as when she went to work when we were kids, she worked hard to do what was best for her husband. When the time did come that she needed help, she was still his biggest advocate. With in-home caregiving and then finally at the nursing home, NOTHING got by her in the way of his care! She was on top of every detail and not afraid to let someone know when she saw something that she did not like. Strength!

My mom wanted my dad's services to be perfect and perfect they were. I sat next to her as I tried to sing the hymns that she chose, through tear-filled eyes. All I could think was, "how are you singing?" She could sing because she is strong. She knows that he is in a better place and that she will see him again.

My mom and her four daughters.

Strength to you all!       

Please comment about someone you see as strong and why.